Sheila Sweals, Sonic Detection Unit (S.D.U) Operator on the state of the art Australian ping listening boat, Prince George, admitted not wearing a secure thong at a Court Martial this morning. The boat, looking for pings from missing aeroplane MH 370 then broadcast a "Ping Received Alert" automatically, launching 1000 additional search ships.
Sheila apparently bent down to free one of her heels which was stuck in a floor grate. The twisted thong violently untwisted near the amplification unit header creating the false alarm and International incident. Forever nicknamed, "The Arse that Launched a Thousand Ships", Sheila's bottom has been plaster encased ready for a bronze sculpture to be made of it.
The Sculpture is to be exhibited in Sydney alongside Australia's other object of culture, the world's only unaccoustically designed Opera House.