Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: North Korea

Saturday, 11 November 2006

image for U.S. Plans Own Nuke Test .. Middle of Downtown Pyongyang North Korea
Kim Jong-il - "Skreww U Am mERICA!"

Amidst rumors that North Korea was planning yet another nuclear test President Bush today phoned North Korean president Kim Yong-il wishing the Korean dictator success with his test and offered to assist Young-il with future testing by demonstrating, up close and personal the actual physics behind the detonation of a 150 kiloton Uranium 235 fission bomb.

"We'll even bring the bomb to ya" Bush told Young-il going on to add,

"The United States of America is committed to assisting all countries of the world in their endeavors to harness the power of science and raise their standards of living through research, experimentation and testing."

Kim Yong-il, apparently off his medication for a moment reportedly told Bush (via translators)

"Skreww U Am mERICA!"

Nuclear weapon testing is never an entirely safe procedure scientists say. One nuclear physicist at White Sands Nuclear Dosimetry Laboratory said,

"One false move with an atom bomb and the whole PLACE can go BOOM!"

Never physically tested before, America's 150 kiloton U235 fission bomb (nicknamed O-My-Living_GAWD!) is approximately 150 times more powerful than the bomb that wiped Hiroshima Japan off the face of the planet back in 1945.

President Bush, during his brief conversation with Kim Young-il did however give the Korean dictator a bit of bad news telling Young-il,

"Unfortunately if you do NOT perform another nuclear test the United States at this time will not be able to assist you by demonstrating our nuclear technology above your city."

Kim Young-il, again (via translators) told the president to basically "go stuff it", only in Korean (eaoz rratikeh it)

Bush, today still unsure of North Korea's future nuclear test plans did assure Young-il that the United States would, if Young-il performed another test, assist Young-il's scientists by demonstrating our 150 kiloton nuclear bomb right in their own front yard Bush going on to tell the dictator,

"Give us a call Kim Young after your test is done and we'll schedule a delivery for ya. Sure our test over your capital might jostle a few buildings, level a few mountains the only thing remaining of North Korea being South Korea but hey Kim, that's why America's here, to help."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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