Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 2 April 2014

image for Vladimir Putin's secret bastard offspring named in divorce decree
Good riddance, Lyudmila, seen better things floating belly up in the middle of the Volga River!

Moscow - Over thirty years of cloak and dagger shagging has come full circle for the ex-KGB thug whose divorce to buxom blond ex-Khrushchev Airways stewardess Lyudmila Pissoff was finalised today.

According to NewsCorpse stringers Papers filed before the Moscow Divorce Registry record an entirely amicable dissolution of the couple's marriage during which the KGB arse may have fathered a number of children out of wedlock.

Among these is said to be red-haired temptress and failed KGB spookette Anna Kushchenko, a.k.a. Anna Chapman, and daft former Italian jailbird Amanda 'Foxy Knoxy' Knox. Yeah.

Then there's the thorny issue of 'Tamara Ecclestone', alleged daughter of Formula 1 gangster Bernie and his Croatian former wife Slavica, who tests DNA positive to be the daughter of Cherie Blair and Vlad the Impaler.

All pretty much gut wrenching stuff.

Commenting on the divorce finalisation a Kremlin aide said this evening that media reports were all a pile of crap.

"St Vladimir Vladimirovich was always a faithfull husband," the source explains, "who never besmirched the marital bed and whose continued, post-divorce celibacy shows him to be an utter fucking saint."

Dim Eatery Med Ved Ev is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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