VATICAN CITY - The Vatican View News Agency of Vatican City has stated that Pope Francis has sent text messages to Vladimir Putin, leader of Russia, and to Kim Jong Un, leader of North Korea.
The pope stated that he wants the two gentlemen to make arrangements to travel to Italy so that they can meet him and discuss some matters of the utmost importance.
President Putin replied that he is much too busy at the moment what with having to deal with the Ukraine, the financial matters regarding the Sochi Winter Olympics, and the recent Counterfeit Vodka Scandal.
Kim Jong Un texted him and told him that he will meet with him but he wants all of his expenses paid including first class airfare, 4-star hotel accommodations, food, drinks, and souvenirs.
The pope reportedly responded to Putin by telling him that he is not really asking him that he is telling him.
The church leader then told Kim Jong Un that he can stop acting like he's some poor homeless dude and make plans to meet with him and Putin or end up with the wrath, of every priest and nun in the world, on his egotistical ass.