A swan feast was last night interrupted by Queen Elizabeth II who appeared to pardon and absolve Vladimir Putin of any wrongdoing. The topic of conversation apparently turned to the Ukraine crisis.
The Ambassador to Russia, Bolshevic Kremlin had asked The Queen what she was going to do about sinister Putin. She then momentarily regurgitated a piece of swan, coughed and said in a loud voice, "Pardon".
Immediate Diplomatic measures were then sanctioned by David Cameron who couldn't be bothered to read the declaration as he was watching football. Sanctions against Russia and the Oligarchs were cancelled and a meeting summoned with President Obama.
It was afterwards realised that the Queen was asking to pardon herself for belching.