Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - The Saudis have got the hump alright as President Obama touches down at Riyadh International Airport for a 24-hour flying visit to the Wahhabist Kingdom of Crude.
Someone - possibly Mossad - has told King Abdullah that the USA's emergency fuel store, the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, consisting of 727 million barrels (115,600,000 m3) of sweet light crude is 95% in private ownership.
And that the infidel behind this massive emergency cache is a woman - some sort of godforsaken apostate she-devil harpy in league with, uh, Chevron!
No wonder Ecuador's President Rafael Correa is shitting bricks.
Reporters tracking Obama's entourage this evening say he took a camel rickshaw to the US diplomatic residence built in the shadow of Riyadh's Two Humps Bazaar, the headquarters of the Saudi Arabia's official petroleum exchange.
The visit sees the country's ruler King Abdullah demand that America takes a leaf out of daft octogenarian GOP hasbeen Henry Kissinger's book and flog off half the SPR, as the reserve is known, to foil Russian crude tactics in the Ukraine.
"She's got you over a barrel of sweet light crude, Mr President," the monarch has commented.
"Bet they never told you how to get out of that one at law school!"