Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 March 2014

image for Edward Snowden Claims He Hacked NASA, the Pentagon, and Oprah Winfrey
Edward Snowden has said that he hopes to become a Russian citizen one day.

MOSCOW - Edward Snowden recently stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is very grateful to President Putin for having taken him in and granted him asylum.

Snowden remarked that there is no one in the entire world who has more knowledge about computers than he does.

He stressed that he can get pages and pages of information on even homeless people.

Snowden was asked about his job as director of computers for the Russian government.

He smiled as he took a sip of his Vodka Collins and said that it is the greatest job that anyone could have.

Snowden remarked that for example he can access reams of info on President Obama within 4 minutes.

He explained that to him getting computer info is as easy as Kirstie Alley eating a Hostess Twinkie.

Eddie, as President Putin and his sexy niece Nadia Olgavich call him, revealed that just within the past three weeks he has hacked computer info from NASA, the Pentagon, and Oprah Winfrey.

In Other News. Lady Gaga whose career has just about ended up in the dumpster recently told The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that she may drop the last 'ga' in her name and become simply Lady Ga.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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