Written by CaptainSausage

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Sunday, 23 March 2014

image for Sex education classes banned for "encouraging gender stereotypes"
Nether region bans nether regions

The Netherlands has always been one of the more liberal European countries, and was one of the first to introduce sex education to its schools. But now it might become the first to ban it - not because of excessive prudishness or conservatism, but due to political correctness.

It is a strange move in a country where sex education lessons often include the use of hardcore videos, and even live demonstrations of both heterosexual and homosexual acts.

Dutch Education Minister Pim van Diphoorn explained, "For yearsh we have taught that a man hash a penish and a woman hash a vagina. But that'sh very dishcriminating againsht transhgender people, ash well ash women who own shtrap-onsh. Sho we think shex education should be banned completely. All it doesh ish continue thoshe tired old gender shtereotypesh, and really there'sh nothing worshe than a shtereotype."

There are many reasons behind the ban. The country has one of the highest percentages of transsexual people in the world. Also penis implants - which are available for free on the Netherlands' state health service - are increasingly popular. One of the main newsreaders on TV channel RTL4, Stijn van't Kok, has been broadcasting for the last year with a penis growing out of his forehead. He is planning to have another one added on his chin later this year.

The idea of banning sex education has been greeted with scepticism by some. Prominent Dutch MP and adult film entrepreneur Rutger Groote Oortwijn said that the current government are trying to deny human sexual characteristics entirely. He said, "They think that the only difference between a man and a woman ish the number of penishesh that you happen to be born with. It'sh ridiculoush! They obvioushly haven't sheen my latesht film 'Creamy Jug Shoup'."

Teachers' representative Geert Klomphaar thought that it wouldn't make much difference if the education system stopped teaching about reproduction. She said, "It's not as if the future of humanity depends upon it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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