WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States CIA has just learned from a source within Al-Qaeda that the terrorist group has just purchased a 27-year-old destroyer.
The information was texted to a CIA receptionist and was traced back to a Fasheen Kazdeli who resides in Bandar Abbas, Iran.
President Obama has been informed that Mr. Kazdeli has purchased the destroyer in behalf of Al-Qaeda from the French government.
The president was told that the French apparently have no need for the destroyer which was built in 1987 since they have no desire to ever go to war.
SIDENOTE: Kazdeli further explained in his text message that Al-Qaeda bought the French destroyer the FS Chateaubriand for $2.3 million.