Written by Joe Crit
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Topics: Vladimir Putin

Thursday, 20 March 2014

image for Russian President Vladimir Putin says Ukrainians not capable of governing themselves

Russian President Vladimir Putin said today that Russian scientists have determined that the long term exposure to the fallout from the 1986 Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster has left Ukrainians too simpleminded to govern themselves.

For obvious humanitarian reasons, I am sending a large compliment of our best indoctrination specialists to assist our neighbors. I know all too well the importance of having a healthy, stable and inculcated, ah I mean inoculated neighbor. A peaceful and environmentally secure border is our highest priority.

Listen people, all I am saying is they just need some refocusing and assistance in regard to having proper recognition of authoritative entities.

It breaks my ... heart ... to see these fine people having such difficulty in making proper life decisions. We have a long history of assisting our neighbors When Poland needed help rebuilding after world war two , who was there to help? We were. Sure it took us over 40 years to get the job done, but we did it.

The same holds true for Hungry,Romania, and Czechoslovakia. We are a like a nurturing parent, giving encouragement and support to our family.

We are Russia! It's what we do! We would advise these so-called specialists to treat these poor, sick people as if they are your brothers and sisters and second, avoid the Chicken Kiev, have you seen what the local chickens look like? Woah! Chickens should only have one beak and two legs, creeepy!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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