Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Israel, Museum

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

image for Israel builds National Center for Ancient Artefucts
Priceless ancient artefucts like these

Jerusalem - Stuffed in a narrow space between the Mound of Olives and the Bob Marley Wailing Wall a new glass and steel erection is springing up to accommodate loads of ancient Jewish tat.

Two million Old Testament-era artefucts including the world's biggest collection of Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls will vie for pride of place at the new national museum in a sponsorship deal with First Zion Bank of Krakatoa, Ramallah High Street branch.

One hundred genuine 19th century reproduction ossuaries carved with 'authentic' Biblical names are planned for the exhibit alongside an array of traditional cinerary urns in a central viewing gallery built in the style of the Great Columbarium of Pomponius Hylas. (WTF dat? -'Ed')

To the highly trained antiquities eye that particularly fine ancient Roman funerary mansion - said to be rich in frescoes, decorations and wonderful mosaics - is of course an effing stupid kind of misnomer when plonked in the middle of the Jewish Free State.

However rabbis in the museum's procurement department managed to get hold of the repro Roman edifice at an absolute bargain price from a garage sale of Monty Python's Life Of Bryan movie studio brick-a-brack.

At $50 it was an absolute steal.

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