Written by Catchthisdrift
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Tuesday, 18 March 2014

(New York) - Russia called for an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Counsel over the weekend to discuss what Russia is calling "the unprovoked, illegal and unwarranted occupation of Oxygen by Hydrogen forces."

According to Russia's Permanent Representative to the U.N. Vitaly Churkin, Oxygen had been peaceably co-existing with another Oxygen in a relationship commonly known as O2 (oh two), or simply "Oxygen." During the occupation and continuing still, Hydrogen placed two of its citizens to stand guard over each Oxygen.

A Hydrogen spokesman said that Hydrogen had no choice but to come to the aid of O2, saying O2 was "in a very volatile state."

Churkin stated "this unprecedented invasion of Oxygen and the violation of its sovereignty has been on-going for many years, billions of years, in fact. This makes Russia's peaceful peace-keeping mission to keep the peace in Crimea look like a visit from grandma. Yet, it is Russia on which the liberal media puts their focus, while Hydrogen is provided a free pass." It is unclear whether Churkin has a grandma or whether she visits him.

When asked for comment, Fox News contributor Robert Bolton stated "this is yet one more result of President Obama's weakness when it comes to foreign affairs. Even in that fraction of a fraction of a microsecond after God started the Big Bang, Hydrogen knew that Obama would turn a blind eye. Embarrassing for the United States, nothing less."

Lithium, which borders Hydrogen on the south, immediately cut all ties with Hydrogen after the occupation and the systematic pairing of two Hydrogen with each Oxygen.

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