Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 19 March 2014

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Not MH370

In the latest of a series of 'unbelievable discoveries' in the Potteries area of England, the missing Malaysian Airlines flight that disappeared nearly two weeks ago en route to Beijing, has turned up safe and sound underneath a boy's bed.

Flight MH370, along with 239 passengers, most of them Chinks, had mystified 'numerous people' with its 'disappearing act', and rescue crews from around the globe had been searching for signs of the naughty plane 'all over the shop' (that's enough inverted commas).

This morning, however, when 45-year-old Mum, Karen Low-Cal was rummaging around, as usual, under her son's bed, she became aware of the presence of the pesky missing airliner, and managed to extricate it from the mass of toys and games secluded therein.

Said Karen, a call centre operative:

"I gave it a tug by its wing, and it slid out. I could see that the transponder had been turned off, which is probably why it had been able to get under my son's bed undetected. When I forced open the passenger doors, the room started to fill up with persons of Chinese origin - something you don't necessarily want at that time in the morning!"

Other conspicuous items that have turned up under Child C's bed, include a vuvuzela, a carpet, a combine harvester, a microscopic organism, a bogey and a potty full of shit, amongst others.

Authorities have been notified, and are expected to descend upon the bedroom soon. Relatives of the Chinese passengers will be notified 'in due course'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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