VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis recently stated to a group of Cardinal trainees at the Vatican that he cannot stress enough the fact that they need to remember the tremendous lawsuits that a group of libido-crazed priests have cost the church.
He told them that if they truly feel that they will not be able to control their carnal urges then they need to quit right now before the Vatican invests anymore money in someone who will only end up costing the church tons of money years down the road.
The group of cardinals erupted into a chant of POPE FRAN-CIS! POPE FRAN-CIS! POPE FRAN-CIS!
The pope then turned his attention to American comedian Joan Rivers.
Pope Francis stated that two days ago he had called up Ms. Rivers and told her that he is sick and tired of her and her tremendously hate-filled, venom-spewing ways.
He let her know that if she does not stop it and stop it now, her 80-year-old body will end up in the poorest section of hell.
SIDENOTE: When Rivers was told of the pope's comments she responded by saying, "The heck with Franny, I'm Jewish, I don't give a gnat's belly button what Bingo Boy thinks."