Written by Auntie Jean

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Thursday, 13 March 2014

image for Bryanair Denies Using Cattle Prods to Speed up Turn Around Time
Stewardess collecting extra money

Steerage class airline Bryanair yesterday claimed that their passengers were not being herded onto the aircraft with cattle prods.

C.E.O Mark O'Leary said this morning, "They are just low voltage vibrating wands to remind people to move quickly." He also denied that extra seats had been crammed into the baggage hold and pilot's cabin.

"Passenger legroom has not been cut down by adding three extra rows of seats either. We have closed the toilets to add extra seats, but there is a clearly worded notice to remind people to go to the toilet before they board the plane. There is a charge of £100 for using the staff toilets.

"Seats on the aircraft roof have been asked for by claustrophobic passengers and we listened to what passengers wanted and provided the panoramic view seats at only £150 extra."

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