Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Tax Evasion

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

image for Uli Hoeness blames addiction to German Bratwurst for his tax evasion!
Uli Hoeness will be getting poked with plenty of these in prison!!!

Shamed Bayern Munich director, Uli Hoeness, has confessed to the court that his addiction to German Bratwurst was the reason for cheating the German fiscus out of more than 3 million Euros.

After Uli retired from active football he became addicted to all types of German Bratwurst and admitted eating over 30 million and to prove his case he asked the court to weigh him; good point Uli!

He attempted to keep his addiction a secret form Karl Heinz Rummenige and Franz Beckenbauer by smuggling the money out of the country and from Switzerland, using his black bank account, he ordered tons of bratwurst that were secretly delivered to his huge mansion in the Bavarian Alps. Franz and Karl Heinz did actually notice that Uli had turned into a rather large lookalike Schwein and when they asked Uli if everything was OK he grunted and said it was a hormone problem, oink, oink!

The judge leading the case feels no sympathy towards Uli's admittance and addiction, and feels 10 years in a German prison would certainly cure him of his problem. Albeit, there is a danger that his fellow inmates might stick him on a huge spit and poke him now and then! Maybe some small change might drop out of his "Piggy bank" in return for a good roasting!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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