Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Saddam Hussein

Tuesday, 7 November 2006

image for Saddam Hussein Chooses Alternate Execution Method, Death by Chocolate
"Willie Wonka" as played by Johnny Depp is expected to pull the switch

Thanks to leniency by the Iraqi court Saddam Hussein will not only live another day but will also get to choose an alternate method of going to meet Allah. When presented with such creative suggestions as getting eaten by Jackals, slapped to death by Condoleezza Rice or Bungee Jumping off Turkey's Mount Ararat (without a bungee) Hussein wisely chose the sweetest, tastiest execution method of them all .. "Death by Chocolate".

Details are still sketchy but perhaps around Super Bowl XLI here's what will happen by the flip of a switch to Saddam Hussein, possibly at half time, broadcast live from Baghdad Iraq ..

Saddam Hussein, found guilty of heinous crimes against humanity will be bound, gagged, lifted 20 feet into the air above a giant molten vat of delicious, rich Hershey's milk chocolate, dipped in HEAD-FIRST until all movement stops, removed, allowed to harden, then coated with a thin candy shell and mounted like a statue in the middle of downtown Baghdad to remain forever a tragic confectionery symbol, a powerful but stern warning to all who would dare THINK about raping, pillaging and brutalizing the soon to be great democracy we call Iraq.

Sources say that the deep milk chocolate candy coated Hussein will be surrounded by 2 levels of high voltage security fences to prevent any hungry insurgents or even young Iraqi children looking for a tasty treat from breaking off pieces of Hussein and ultimately, over time, eating the brutal yet courageous tyrannical dictator who wisely chose, hopefully before third quarter kickoff, "Death by Chocolate".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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