United Nations, NYC, NY (STT News) - In North Korea, Harmonic, Joyful and Heavenly Leader of All Living Things, Kim Jong-Un, announced that his nation can no longer stand by and allow Israel to threaten its borders from afar. As a signal of warning to the Jewish state, Pyongyang has announced the launch of a missile that will be navigated carefully to overfly the US bases at Guam and San Diego, skirt the southern coast of Australia, India and Iran before safely landing in the Mediterranean about 26.3201 miles off the Israeli coast.
Elsewhere, Iran has begun frowning upon the British territory of the Falkland Islands, saying that they have already sent warships to loiter the region. This news has been well received in Argentina where Cristina Kirchner is said to have then directed the Argentine Navy to refloat a few ships to be towed to a point at the end of the airport runway at Gibraltar.
In Spain, there was a joyful cheer and orders were immediately issued to once again make crossing between Spain and Gibraltar as difficult as one might expect giving birth to an Indian elephant on the tube during rush hour.
The UN General Assembly, when receiving news of these events, held a vote and chose to order 172 Pizzas, 49 Cheeseburgers and 14 bottles of 1971 Henri Jayer Grand cru Richebourg Vosne Nomanee Cote de Nuit.
Before breaking, UN speaker Yabba Babba Beiber said, "The world will be a better place for all of us after lunch. Let's eat."