Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 5 March 2014

image for Ukrainian chum nominates Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin for 2014 No Balls Piss Prize
For showing his soft side in Ukraine's crime era zone

Oslo, Norway - Ousted former Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych is thought to be the proposer nominating Russia's man of steal for a bold showing of military farce in the Crimea ahead of Friday's Paralympic Winter Games.

The prestigious annual prize is awarded to Global Piss Process tossers showing exceptional promise in screwing over allies and other unpleasant folk, a spokesperson for the organization said.

Yanukovych's televised nomination was seen coast-to-coast in Russia she the exiled leader is cooling his heels as he awaits a nod from the country's central bank about access to his gold bullion deposits and other stuff.

"I believe Comrade Putin is a just and honorable man," Yanukovych said, "whose trust in fellow Eastern Bloc leaders has never been broken - especially over some silly spat about the contents of a safe deposit box!"

The former Ukrainian leader has always denied knowing the whereabouts of 20 tonnes of gold bullion ingots that went walkabout from their Kiev strong room late last year.

There is no suggestion that he ever entered into some sort of sordid kleptocratic arrangement with the Russian president about a trifling matter such as precious metal deposits.

Nor about a nasty land grab in the Crime Era.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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