AIX-MARSEILLE, France - Researchers at the University of Aix-Marseille have revived a virus that had lain dormant in Siberian permafrost for the past 30,000 years.
Asked why they had thawed out and revived such a potentially dangerous virus, researcher Paul-Henri Brodeur said, "But what does it concern anyone else on this planet who is not French?"
Harfold State College instructor of biology begs to differ.
"Wasn't it Mark Twain who said that France is probably run by a bunch of prostitutes? Anyway, let's wipe out humanity if we can by thawing out ancient viruses.
"We're talking about a country with 75% income tax on the superwealthy and soccer players who go on strike."