Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: Russia, Ukraine

Saturday, 1 March 2014

image for Russian Winter Sports in Sochi cancelled as Putin invades Crimea
On the upside of things at least there'll be no bloody Paralympic curling,

Sochi, Black Sea - You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye, winter sports athletes from 100 countries were told this weekend, as ethnic civil unrest in nearby Crimea saw the return of the Russian troops in a pisskeeping exercise masterminded by the Kremiln.

This weekend's development in the Northern Black Sea archipelago are said to be so tense and volatile that Russian security services have closed down the Sochi site in case of bloody unrest spreading to disabled curling, as the sport is known.

It means an entire submarine command HQ lying deep within the Black Sea must divert its anti-terror surveillance program from Sochi to the nearby Crimean bloodbath developing shortly.

Commenting on the rapidly deteriorating crisis a one-armed bob sleight from Cameroon told Pravda TV, "Tough shit. Besides, who needs more bloody curling?"

The Women's Topless Freestyle Downhill race may still take place! Crimean massacre permitting.

Tonya Harding is 69.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

7 1 3 5
48 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more