Joshua Tree, California - A naked self-styled astrology freak with an irrational fear of the Martian moon Phobos was found dead at home this morning, an imported chocolate Mars candy bar obstructing the air passage in his throat.
He was 69.
Orion Anomaly had been dubbed by local social services as a gullible astrologist prone to psychotic episodes when Phobos, a satellite of the red planet Mars, was aspecting Uranus badly.
His sudden unexpected demise this weekend was announced in the Joshua Tree Cleaner - uh, Gleaner! - as the tragic consequence of too much navel gazing during irrational planetary transits ahead of the Equinox.
Californians, dontcha just love them?