KRISTIANSUND, Norway - Norway's national news agency The Fjord has just issued a statement regarding the gigantic oil spill from the Laotian oil tanker The Laotian Rice.
The Laotian Rice hit an iceberg and sunk spilling its cargo of 2.1 million gallons of crude oil.
Oceanic experts from the United States, Scotland, and Japan are on the scene checking out the situation.
Luckily every crew member managed to get into a life boat.
The oceanic experts report that the news does not look good as the oil slick is moving towards the Norwegian mainland at a speed of 1.7 miles per hour.
They are predicting that the spilled oil could wipe out as many as 27 million sardines.
Long time Norwegian sardine fisherman Horten Tonstrom, 61, was asked about the dismal situation and he replied, "It's a friggin situation that I cannot freakin control and I am so effen mad that I could shoot a frackin atheist."
In Other News. Holland is reporting that they are expecting a record number of blue tulips this year.