Written by Tanuj
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Topics: Facebook, iPhone, selfies

Thursday, 27 February 2014

Mumbai: Late last evening, Simran Kanodia, a 19 year old girl was admitted to Dr. Shrink Hospital and is being treated for depression apparently induced from the pain of not being able to change her profile picture on Facebook for 8 days.

Your fearless reporter went to the hospital to find out more.

"I change my profile picture at least once a week and have kept this tradition alive ever since I got onto to Facebook three years ago. I was supposed to do it yesterday but my elder brother met with a serious accident and we had to rush him to the hospital.

"He was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and I spent the whole night outside his ward. I tried to take a selfie there with my iPhone and upload it even though I had posted a profile picture in the same dress in the past. However just as I was about to snap myself, my father had a heart attack and fell forward on me.

"My iPhone slipped from my hand due to his impact and crashed onto the floor with a bang. Its camera hasn't been working since then.

"I tried to take another photo with the ward boy's phone once daddy was taken for a bypass surgery but its battery conked off just as I clicked. He now has my picture in his mobile phone and has made it his wallpaper.

"I so much wish that my mother used a camera phone but she is still stuck in the dark ages and has one of those old Nokia phones that vibrate like a generator. Impatiently I waited for the relatives to arrive in so that I could borrow a phone from one of them but everybody started updating their Facebook statuses about the conditions of daddy and my brother once they came.

"No one had a free phone to give to me," broke down a shattered Simran.

I caught up with Tanuj Khosla, in-house expert on such issues.

"Not being able to change one's profile picture is a very serious matter," said Tanuj while spreading some strawberry jam on his steak. "In today's times if people don't change their profile pictures for a while, their friends assume that either they have lost hair or grown a pimple and are shy from showing their present self.

"In order to address this problem, a lot of my friends take pictures of themselves on the pot in the morning and upload it as their profile picture. It is quite efficient use of time in my opinion.

"Maybe Simran should also do the same in order to avoid disruptions in changing of her profile pictures due to minor incidents like brother's accident or father's bypass surgery."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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