Texas - "George, honey, did you accidentally paint an erect penis in that portrait of the royal pooch - uh, whassisname, Cameron?" worried ex-First Lady Laura Bush asked her husband over breakfast this morning.
"Because the Queen has just returned it via surface mail, and seems to have forgotten to stick on a stamp!"
Today's delivery at the couple's Predator Chapel Ranch home in Crawford was unexpected to say the least as was the terse note, signed Elizardbirth R, accompanying the package.
The former president turned canine portrait artist said he'd painted the dog entirely from memory and tried to make the two foot by three foot oil on canvas subject look 'as realistic as possible'.
Both Dubya and wife Laura remembered being 'utterly charmed' by the feckless royal corgi that Her Majesty asked to be captured in a picture for her Diamond Jubilee in 2012.
"Laura, honey, an artist must tell it like it is!" Dubya replied.
"Besides, I remember the mutt's little pecker always standing to attention when we had our sleepover at Buckingham Palace."
A decision to airbrush out the offending member will be made 'solely on artistic grounds' some time early next week.