Kiev, Ukraine - It's the same dumb recipe for disaster that the ex-UK Prime Monster gave beleaguered former NewsCorpse hackette Rebekah Brooks, currently channeling poor little me syndrome at London's No 1 Central Criminal Court where she faces corruption charges.
Tonight in a phone call to ousted Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych the accomplished British war monger mentioned a seven figure fee for an off-the-peg Huttonesque Inquiry finding absolving the President of absolutely everything.
A copy was intercepted by Interpol tonight.
The 50,000 page document is thought to be in its generic whitewash form but with customized additions to suit the Ukranian agenda - plus additional personal references from His Wholimess the Pope.
Kiev news sources have pointed out that the offer of a professional whitewash came after Yanukovych attempted to flee the country with a secret stash of $100m in diamonds and bullion before being captured by Ukrainian border cops.
"The police gave Mr President Yanukovych his phone call to a lawyer," a Chicken Kiev Evening Argus editorial commented, "and who should he phone but his old mucker Tony Blair."