Written by Wumf
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Tuesday, 25 February 2014

image for Kenny Blakenship and Vince Romano Released by Two Volga Women
Kenny and Vic's first meal back

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Police authorities in Sochi have announced that Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano were released by their elusive, female Russian kidnappers early this morning.

Kenny and Vic, who were kidnapped several nights ago by two Volga women, one identifying herself only as "Olga from Volga", were found safe after they walked back into the Volga Sochi Sushi Bar, the place they were last seen on the night of the kidnapping.

Reported owner, Igor Shulichenko, "All they said was, 'We're famished! Give us the biggest platter of sushi you got!' Once they finished the platter they both fell asleep at the table, with their heads on their plates, so I alerted the police to let them know Mr. Blankenship and Mr. Romano were safe."

Kenny and Vic are currently giving their statements down at Sochi Police Headquarters. It is still undetermined as to whether the ransom, demanded by the two Volga women, was actually paid.

When asked about the general well-being of the two men, Mr. Shulichenko said, "They both looked fine, no black eyes, no bruising on their faces, no rope burns on their wrists. I think the two women, who are Volga women, especially known for their strength, must have gone very easy on them - maybe because they are well-known celebrities!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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