Written by Auntie Jean
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Saturday, 22 February 2014

image for Royal Navy exercises restraint during Spanish "Kamikaze" Gibraltar incursions
A battleship similar to those in the Naval excercises.

Royal Navy manoeuvres involving aerial military "drops" were completed this week according to plan despite the farcical behaviour of a small number of rickety Spanish boats. Having to be shepherded away for their own safety, the humiliated Spanish "patrol" boats were later cautioned and their identities summarily reported to the United Nations.

The confused but reckless ad hoc Spanish incursions have lately hammered another nail into the coffin of Spanish self respect, as the world's finest put on an impressive display of military excellence.

A U.K. Naval Commander told our reorter, "These people were weaving in and out of lethal situations involving deadly state of the art Warships. They reminded us of Barcelona "hen party girls", although they had moustaches. I had a strong urge to swat them like flies, but you've got to feel sorry for them, especially when they held out buckets for food donations for their families afterwards. A lot of the lads threw in something for them out of pity, but I don't think I'd be eating what some of the lads threw in the buckets."

The Spanish are thought to be treading on very thin ice with their flagrant disregard for maritime safety often being compared with the behaviour of Somalian pirates. Spanish military boats look much the same as refugee boats and are frequently impounded during anti smuggling operations.

The normal procedure is to check them for compliance with maritime regulations after which they are often released with a caution but only after the crew members who can read and write have attended a mandatory two day course in navigation and safety basics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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