Written by Lyndon
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Saturday, 22 February 2014

image for For being so anti-gay, same-sex Russians sure do kiss a lot: study
Russian skier Egor Kazakov can't wait to get the finish line so that he can kiss some guy.

HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College has revealed that local students think all that kissing which same-sex Russian Olympians do is gay, especially for a city that has no gay people.

Students in Carver Dining Hall were asked to rate on a four-point scale how gay they found all that same-sex kissing that Russians do when they do well at the Olympics. The study found that 23 of 23 diners, or 100%, find the kissing to be at the very least "a little bit gay."

A rating of "4" indicated that "It's really gay," a "3" meant "it's pretty gay," a score of "2" reflected the stance that "It's kinda gay," with a "1" being tied to the feeling that "It's a little bit gay."

In a few cases, students scrawled in a "5"; however, these weren't included in the official results of the study.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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