SOCHI, RUSSIA - Russian Olympic Officials announced today they are adding a special parade to the closing ceremonies of the winter Olympics.
Alexi Grasmik, spokesman for the organizers said, "To honor Mother Russia and show the world the strength of our rich, dark soil, a root vegetable parade will join the other acts in the closing ceremonies. Giant inflatable potatoes, turnips, parsnips, carrots, celeriac, and onions will be marched in the Olympic Stadium much like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that President Putin saw and enjoyed on satellite T.V. one year."
Joining the inflatable veggies will be an army of highly trained gymnastic dancers, also dressed in colorful root vegetable costumes designed by a famous Russian fashion designer, Vira Vergeyevna Vlastinina.
Sources say The Rolling Stones declined to be attired in vegetable costumes during the closing ceremonies, but are considering singing their Little Red Rooster song since it aligns with the agricultural theme of the parade.