Written by Milton
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Wednesday, 19 February 2014

image for Pope Giving up Lent for Lent
St. Peter the Original denier

Pope Francis has stated that this year he will give up chastity, indulge in gluttony, and observe Lent by doing all the things he thinks about all year but never gets to do. In an unprecedented statement, the forward thinking pontiff explained that Lent is to help the spirit focus on the very act of resurrection; he went on to say that by relieving himself of chastity and engorging himself with Argentinian empanadas , he would free his spirit to seek forgiveness the day before Easter Sunday like many other Catholics around the world.

Pope Francis has astounded many by his approach and willingness to embrace the common man and or woman. Earlier this year he preached that mother's should not be embarrassed to breast feed their children in public, and they are welcome to breast feed during his mass on Sundays, a move seen by the Catholic laity as forward thinking.

Earlier in the year, a move that showed backwards thinking and church-preservation, Pope Francis issued an "Motu Proprio", a decree of his own initiative, which renews his commitment to rooting Child sex abuse issues while imposing tough penalties for staff who leak confidential Vatican document like Child sex abuse information. The Pope's move to give up lent re-invigorates his supporters and will provide his critics plenty of fat joke materials, because Argentinian Empanadas are fried.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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