Lima, Peru : Archaeologists working in the High Andes in areas of low oxygen supply have reportedly stumbled upon a legendary city of purest TIN. The find was made last week and provides the clearest evidence yet for the existence of a civilization described in Spanish parchments as 'La Tinca'.
Team leader Moustachio Gonzalez jr reported by email: "We laboured for 3 weeks hiking on unknown goat trails, we were running low on supplies. At dawn on the 4th day we made it to the top of a ridge and when I looked over I was stunned to see my own reflection, distorted and imperfect, shining dully back at me... reflected in tin. I realised then we had discovered the wonderous kingdom of Tin. We made our way to the centre clanking through streets, whole houses and other amazing buildings fashioned from tin. In the center stands a giant 100 meter pyramid wholly made from tin. Here we found so many precious tin trinkets of inspired workmanship. Now people will no longer laugh hysterically at archaeologists who speak of the Tinca."
If verified the team's discovery threatens to rewrite history of the Americas. Tinca scholars were long thought to belong to a rogue element within schools of anthropology of pre-European Peruvian civilization. A persistent belief in the existence of the Tinca actually cut short some academic careers in the field. At least one Tinca expert has spent the last 18 years in the isolation unit of California's principal mental institution; so vehement was his belief in the Kingdom Of Tin and ridicule from his colleagues so intense his mind became violently disturbed. Now, far from being wrong-headed some of these academics are standing on the point of pure vindication.
R.Anne.D McNally of the University Of San Francisco urges caution: "As far as we can tell this was a rogue expedition by a bunch of nuts. Extreme delusions and hallucinations are usually the first signs of oxygen starvation. I don't want to pour cold water on a potential Kingdom of Tin but I have to admit I'm sceptical. What worries me most now is the difficulty of getting vital medical supplies and oxygen up to wherever they are stranded." In the Kingdom of Tin? The next hours will tell.