Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 18 February 2014

image for Pardoned by Clinton ex-Dem congressman Mel Reynolds now in hot water with Zimbabwe cops
Local paper blundered by posting this mugshot instead of Reynolds' in their earlier edition

Harare, Zimbabwe - His 78-month jail sentence for fraud and lying to SEC investigators was commuted to halfway house by outgoing President Bill Clinton who fought hard but failed to quash Reynolds' five year custodial term for 12 cunts - uh, counts! - of sexual assault, obstruction of justice and solicitation of child pornography.

Today reports from Zimbabwe state that the former Democratic Representative from Illinois is behind bars awaiting possible extradition back to the USA for overstaying his welcome in the African hellhole run by Robert Mugabe.

At lunchtime an updated report by the country's leading red top, Nooz of da Scrooz, mentioned that Reynolds may previously have been arrested in the Zimbabwean capital up to 17 times in a complex probe focusing on the construction of a multi-million dollar hotel and office complex in Harare.

Regrettably, the paper blundered big time by publishing President Barack Obama's photograph as part of the scoop instead of Reynolds' own image in a move that has very nearly triggered a major diplomatic upset with the Yanks.

Fortunately, Nooz editor Harald Bullowayo swiftly printed a correction as well as a partial retraction of a statement published in an earlier edition of the paper.

This had claimed that after his presidential pardon in 2001 Reynolds was hired by Jesse Jackson's Rainbow/Push Coalition to increase the number of young blacks going to prison:

"Sorry about the typo, guys," the editor commented, "it definitely should have said decrease."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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