Written by Wumf
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Monday, 17 February 2014

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Where the leprechauns go

BLARNEY, IRELAND - With only one month until Lá Fhéile Pádraig, leprechauns are gearing up for their annual vacation day off. For 364 days a year they are humbler cobblers, but on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, they are allowed to descend on the world, play tricks, and earn a little extra money for retirement.

"We usually go where people are drinking," says Leprechaun Quinn 'the Eskimo' O'Reilly, "It's much more fun to play tricks on drunk folks, especially ones that have lots of money in their pockets! Last year, I made about $2000 playing darts and shooting pool. Some of my wee pals won big in the poker games. Drunk people shouldn't play poker, ye know!"

When asked what it takes to be a leprechaun, O'Reilly said, "Well, most people think you have to be tiny little fellar, wear pointy shoes and a green outfit with a little pointy hat. They think you have a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but a real leprechaun is much, much more than that. A real leprechaun has a twinkle in his eyes, a dance in his step, and, most important of all, a heart of gold, and a well-managed 401K."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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