Written by KendoMonkey
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Topics: Christmas, Santa

Friday, 3 November 2006

image for Christmas comes early: Santa blames climate change

Christmas has literally come early to many parts of the country today. Children up and down many European countries awoke this morning to piles of presents and notes with demands for "milk and cookies next year!" Santa, it appears has delivered his load over a month early and parents throughout the world are afraid of what this might mean. We caught up with the "big man" himself, to explain what happened:

"Well, I simply can't explain it! All I knew was that when I woke up this morning it was definitely Christmas day. I was sure of it! I can only think that Climate Change is to blame - global warming, it's messing up my reindeers and my lumbago is giving me real problems. I've delivered, well, I reckon three quarters of all my quota for this year. I'm really anxious about explaining all this to the missus."

Parent Association of America spokesperson Maria Vontrup, told us:

"This is going to cause us some real headaches. You know what kids are like with excitement and all. Now they're going to be thinking they'll have two Christmasses this year, it'll cost us all a fortune in presents and pain-killers."

Rogue elves, known enemies of Mr Claus, have suggested an alternate reason for today's debacle: Santa, they claim, is currently spending a great deal of his time with British Rocker Pete Dougherty and his girl, Kate Moss. Whilst they wouldn't elaborate on that, the inference can be made.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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