Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 12 February 2014

image for Copenhagen Zoo to start selling Bush Tucker in its restaurant
Destined for diners at Copenhagen Zoo

After the uproar at Copenhagen Zoo when the zoo owners took an inbred giraffe, killed it and then fed it to the lions, management of the zoo have unveiled new plans for future animals that are surplus to requirements.

"We don't see what the problem is, no?" said Zoo manager, Peter Van Transit. "The giraffe was useless, it was inbred from a brother and sister giraffe, so we fed it the lions. It seems the world doesn't like this, no? So, we have an alternative plan."

From next June, Copenhagen Zoo will be culling its excess animals and offering them up in the zoo restaurant.

"This seems more acceptable, yes?" said Van Transit. "We've already had interest from the London Extreme Eaters society, who are keen to taste giraffe."

Rhino steaks may beat giraffe steaks to the dining table, as the zoo has an old decrepit rhino that was going to be quietly disposed of in the usual fashion for dead animals at zoos - after all, who has ever wondered what happened to dead animals at zoos before? Now, the zoo is gearing up for a big announcement that rhino will be served.

"We've already got half a million Euro for the horn," said Van Transit. "The animal isn't even dead yet, no?"

It is planned that the rhino steaks will be served as the world's largest steak for those with mammoth appetites, whilst smaller cuts will be available for those of a more modest appetite.

"We believe we can also make and sell rhino sausages, poacher's pie and leg of rhino," said Van Transit. "Our chef is watering his mouth in anticipation, yes?"

With the world so interested in one dead animal at a zoo, other zoos are looking at taking up the same policy.

"We've had a dead tiger in the freezer for a couple of months," said Daniel Hall, Welfare Officer at Chester Zoo. "It's been waiting for autopsy so we could see how it died, but sod that, we could make a fortune selling it in the restaurant. We might make some bread - Tiger Bread is very popular, and what did people think it was made from?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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