Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 9 February 2014

image for Zoo kills baby giraffe, feeds it to homeless people
'...as well as the Zoo Director's tall blond wife'

There has been an outcry tonight after an 18 month old giraffe, the product of incest behind zoo bars, was put down with a bolt gun before being chopped up and sent to charity kitchens feeding vagrants and other homeless people.

Young Marius had been behaving in a psychotic manner after inheriting the same killer genes as his twin brother/sister parents who secretly mated behind zoo keepers' backs.

Managers then had to take the difficult decision of culling the beastie after he repeatedly tried passing on his own dodgy genome to five unrelated giraffes in the same enclosure as well as the Zoo Director's tall, blond wife.

Commenting on the tragic mercy killing a spokesperson for the Ministry of Food said giraffe meat is a highly nutritious form of protein, cookable in a variety of ways including spag bolognaise, cottage pie, Sunday Roast, curry, vegetarian sausage rolls and loads of other yummy stuff.

One hundred kilos of frozen giraffe meat will now be distributed to local food banks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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