Written by Wumf
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Tuesday, 4 February 2014

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Contestants at the 2013 World Beard and Moustache Championship

LEINFELDEN-ECHTERDINGEN, GERMANY- A 15 year old billy goat, Sir Butts Alot, thrilled audiences when he took first place at the 2013 World Beard and Moustache Championships held recently in Leinfelden-Echterdingen, Germany.

Butts Alot's owner, Chester Higgenbottom, says he has been specially grooming the Toggenberg buck for the past 15 years just for this championship. "I twern't sure 'eed behave as that one are ornery 'specially come feedin time," remarked Higgenbottom. "Named 'im that there name fer a reason, don't ya know."

Butt's Alot beat out well-known beardmeisters, Jack Passion and Aarne Bielefeldt, for best all around beard. His three foot cascade of luxuriant white beard hair quickly became an audience favorite as he trotted about the stage.

"Twer excitin to 'ear all the cheerin," Higgenbottom remarked, "Them people know 'air".

When asked how he got Sir Butts A lot to grow such a bountious beard, Higgenbottom explained that he feeds the ole goat plenty of green grass and washes his hair only in natural products like yogurt, aloe vera, and honey.

"Ee likes ter visit the does, that one. Them does carry on jus like 'ees Elvis. Now this'll go to 'is 'ead and the ole gals 'll never get no rest," chuckled Higgenbottom.

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