Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Gambling, Ecuador

Sunday, 26 January 2014

image for Top Opus Dei bundler bankrupted by Amazonbotch-link online poker site
Rien ne va plus for the daft twerp

London - One of the British Establishment's untouchables, a shady Milord decorated with a Vatican knighthood by Hitler's Pope Benedict the 69th, is living a secret double life after being bankrupted for almost $5million by a subsidiary of online spread betting site Aintgottaprayer.con.

Sir Tim Jelly-Belly Tosspot Von Ribbentrop-Khrushchev ran up the massive debt after an angelic vision - induced by too much holy communion whine 'n' dine and intravenous human growth whoremone - inspired him to make a series of ungodly wagers on AmazonbotchMugPuntaz.con's casino site.

Fellow gambling addicts say an early winning streak convinced the idiot he was set to win a massive fortune with which he could eventually buy back Buckingham Palace 'for the nation and for the glory of the Holy Mother Church'. Cripes!

The webshite was recently revealed as a major backer of bent NYC shyster lawyer Steven Donziger, principal defendant in a $19bn Ecuadorian racketeering and fraud lawsuit against US super major Chevron in a champerty bung financing of his defence.

Last year a New York Southern District court hearing in Manhattan heard how the online parent company had 'invested' some $25million with Donziger's defence team to secure payment of the outrageous Quito judgement.

The Gibraltar-based gambling operation tried pretty hard to get its money back from daft-as-a-brush Sir Tim - nicknamed 'Il Duce' by his Catlick fan club on account of a passing facial resemblance to the notorious World War II Italian fascist cunt - but came up against a solid brick wall of IOUs instead of fabulous assets worth squillions of $$$s.

Last week the mug punter's charming fellow gambling debtors were aghast to learn that personal offshore funds held in Gibraltar had been raided by the Fraud Squad further depleting the casino's dosh.

"There'll be he'll to pay for when Judge Lewis Kaplan posts his Chevron-Ecuador RICO racketeering judgement," a waitress in Manhattan's Cafe Para Legal commented, "wanna see pics of my Doberman Mastiff 'Bugsy'?"

Ace former NYC District Attorney Bob Morgenthau will be 95 later this year.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 2?

4 8 6 18

Go to top