Written by Matt Brown
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Friday, 24 January 2014

image for Calls For Mandatory Use of Helmets In Professional Boxing
''Boxing has been cut from next Olympics schedule after this mess''

Tonight's World Heavyweight Championship bout between Eugene 'Swarfega hands' Smalls and Louis 'The Lepor' Trunks ended in farce as Smalls attempted to strum the tune to 'The Ballad of Richard Nixon' by John Denver and Trunks began some kind of upside down transcendental meditation right there in the very ring!

Referee Ray 'Short temper' Jones was overcome with feelings which he had been suppressing since the passing of his kidney stones and he thusly began shaking the ropes screaming 'you're all gonna' pay suckas', whilst beating himself over the head with a ring-bell.

Before time Smalls smashed Trunks with this 6 string and the contest ended with a unanimous vote and a smalls win in extra time.

Smalls refused to take the gloves off all night leaving a terrible noise for everybody in attendance and Trunks walked out of the arena in a state of confusion asking where the nearest memory cloud was.

Well I suppose it just goes to show that boxing always goes to people's heads at the end of day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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