Reiti, Italy - (Ass Mess): A 31 year old nun from Reiti's Convent of the Immaculate Deception has named her baby boy Pope Francis after suddenly going into labor on the church's Feast of the Ass, a holy day of obligation.
Sister Dolores Concepcion's impromptu cry of 'Holy F**k' in the middle of Matins last Tuesday saw half a gallon of amniotic fluid burst all over the Chapel pew where the nuns were reciting their early morning prayers.
A few contractions later and out bounced a healthy 7lbs baby boy, Sister Dolores Concepcion's habit gently breaking his fall.
This weekend both mother and baby are said to be doing just fine as news of his naming spreads across the web.
Commenting on the baby's anonymous paternity a spokesperson from the Vatican said: "The Holy Father is a life-long celibate so couldn't possibly be dumped on with a child maintenance lawsuit."
A DNA test follows shortly.