Written by D P Whitehead
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Saturday, 11 January 2014

image for Death of Ariel Sharon Has Messiah Watchers In A Frenzy
Comeback tour is imminent

After the death of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon millions of Christians are "looking for signs" that the the new Messiah is among us and are eagerly awaiting salvation and the opportunity to say "I told you so" and to nod their heads knowingly.

Rabbi Yitzhak Kaduri, in 2006, predicted that the long-awaited Messiah would not come until after the death of Sharon. He made the prediction two months before Sharon, still acting as prime minister, had a major stroke in 2006 that left him in a coma ever since, until today.

In 2007, Kaduri, the most famous rabbi in Israel's modern history, at 108 years old, left a cryptic death note revealing the name of the long-awaited Messiah.

"Then who will be laughing?" snorted one devout Christian, as she sneered and shook her head.

The internet is a buzz with likely candidates who could well announce later today that they are indeed the Messiah - favorite is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who has already scheduled a press conference later today.

Also in the running is Fox News' resident 'tool' Bill O' Reilly, actor Tom Cruise and British comedian Ricky Gervais.

"Whoever it is, I just hope he has twitter" said one eager potential disciple. "As long as he can get his message out in 140 characters or less then I think the new Jesus could be a hit."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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