Crazy and unpredictable dictator of North Korea Kim Jong Un today announced that he had been studying the economics and history of his country and had reached an epiphany regarding the way North Korea has been governed.
Instead of the doctrine of "juche" (self-reliance), portly leader Kim has re-written the country's constitution to coincide more with the rules of the game of basketball, which is Kim's favorite sport.
In the constitution, Kim has changed many of the terms. For instance, the term for illegally leaving the country will be "illegal traveling." Treasonous acts are referred to as "throwing an air ball." Military maneuvers include man-to-man and match zone defense. Getting thrown into a labor camp will be known as a time out.
The dictator who has never missed a meal feels that these changes will make ruling the country, and especially punishment, "a lot more fun."
Kim's BFF, Dennis Rodman, will be the new Chief Justice of North Korea and his rulings on any procedures will be the final word.