Written by Matt Brown
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Saturday, 4 January 2014

Eighties new wave band 'A flock of seagulls' have today been bailed pending further investigation after it was reported they had swarmed and beaten down an OAP on Brighton pier last October.

The band, fronted by a man who's hair looks like a set of ears, had 'hits' including 'Space Age Love Song' and 'Wishing (If I had a photograph of you') were known for Paul Reynolds' pioneering guitar sound. Of course their most famous hit I ran (so far away) was exactly what this woman was wishing she should have done as her pursuants clobbered her with their amps, mixing desks and drum kits.

It is a strange turn of events for this a band once enamoured with an alien invasion of earth. Maybe the old woman reminded them of some of their song lyrics and they were trying to protect her from 'a beam of light shining down'. But that was the sun, lads.

They were once called 'phenomenal' by Phil Spector, but we all know where he is now.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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