Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 January 2014

image for President Putin Says He Would Love To Have Edward Snowden Become A Part of His Family
Snowden has said that Putin's well-endowed niece Nadia Volgavich is the woman of his dreams.

MOSCOW - Russian President Vladimir Putin told Russia's national news agency Vodkavich that 2013 was one of the happiest years of his entire life.

He stated that the Russian economy is doing very good, world-wide sales of vodka have gone up 90 percent, and the harsh, merciless Russian winter was not as cold as it had been in years past.

The Russian president then said that one of his greatest political accomplishments was when he granted asylum to NSA whistleblower and leaker Edward Snowden.

President Putin commented that he is simply astonished at the wealth of information that he has been able to receive thanks to the man that he named Russia's national Director of Computers.

Putin grinned as he revealed that he has hundreds of pages of intimate information on individuals such as Megyn Kelly, Phil Robertson, Kobe Bryant, and Miley Cyrus.

The president then smiled as he said that he is thrilled that his beautiful niece Nadia Volgavich is dating Eddie (as he calls Snowden).

Putin stated that Nadia and Eddie spent the New Year's holiday at a luxuriously exquisite resort located in the Ural Mountains.

President Putin has informed family members, close friends, cabinet members, and even Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing With The Stars that he would love to have Snowden as a member of the Putin family.

SIDENOTE: Edward Snowden said that thanks to him his girlfriend Nadia has developed an amazing fondness for NASCAR racing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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