Written by Auntie Jean
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Tuesday, 31 December 2013

image for Holy water breakthrough. Healing water to be sprayed on people by Papal crop sprayers
Holy water plant in Rome

A concentrated form of holy water, prepared by methods similar to those used for Homeopathic medicines is to be used to bless the entire world every week. Squadrons of adapted crop sprayers are to take off from Cathedrals around the world on massive blessing missions.

The super-concentrated ecclesiastical water is thought to be able to cure the common cold, many similar minor diseases and to prevent anything from mildew on roses to toenail fungus. The water will keep many forms of vampire at bay and weaken the Devil in a similar way to the way that Kryptonite weakens Superman. It is thought to be the biggest thing since penicillin and during trials apppeared to cure V.D. but the Pope has banned its use for this purpose.

The water, heavily blessed, is diluted at the rate of one drop per million gallons, the same dilution as that of many quack medicines, possibly including Homeophobic cures. The holy water concentrate is died pink and frozen into cubes and lowered into a cryogenic vault in Disneyland California near Walt Disney's head.

It is not known how Walt Disney's head empowers the holy water, but the process has been described by Stephen Hawkin as similar to how fairy godmothers magic works and also nuclear fusion in Hydrogen bombs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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