London, UK - A bloody great big swastika-shaped hole has appeared slap bang in the middle of the Buckingham Palace lawn following a torrential deluge last night.
Courtiers reported that at around a quarter to nine on Sunday an immensely creepy sucking sound was heard coming from the royal herbaceous boarders in the rear servants' quarters on the third floor.
"That's when we noticed a huge sinkhole gobbling up Her Maj's turf," chief palace
major-domo Sir Ludvig the Daft commented, "including the graves of five dead royal corgis Willow, Pillow, Clinton, Nixon and Savile."
By morning the gaping pit was showing what looks like the partially bricked up remains of a Nazi temple complete with a fully equipped torture chamber still containing six dozen unopened crates of Blue Nun Wine, vintage 1943.
"Of course the existence of this SS concentration camp has always been denied by successive government probes," Sir Ludo added, "on account of dodgy Queen Mother stuff."
Next month's Antiques Roadshow outside broadcast from the Palace is now firmly on hold.