The Fount of Human Knowledge, Tehran Hypothetical Library and Reading School, Iran---At a hastily assembled scientific conference of literate Imams and politically correct Mullahs dedicated to advancing the frontiers of human knowledge, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmahdinejad has proposed to UNESCO that certain highly authoritative Iranian scientists have informed him that they can prove the "Big Bang Theory" and, therefore, there is no reason to hassle his country further over its new found interest in scientific research and advanced technology.
The President of Iran has allegedly told reporters, "First, there was snap (he clicks his fingers), then there was crackle (he coughs) and then there is George Bush's hydrogen pop. Our scientists have assured me we can overcome the Bush factor by proving the big bang is true, not that we want to, but because it is our right and it is a good thing to do."
"The Big Bang will prove to various and sundry that we are serious about our generous efforts make the world a better place. We intend to get more bang for our buck once we get our thoughts straight," he has supposedly said.
He has summarized the entire situation as the bing bang boom fuss and concludes that the world will end not "with a bang, but a whimper" and has issued a fratricidal fatwa to that effect.