PYONGYANG (AP) Rumors spread around the North Korean capital that a new series of nuclear tests were about to begin in spite of threats of sanctions by world leaders. Family members of the North Korean People's Army have been sworn to secrecy upon pain of death, but one mother of a soldier agreed to speak to a reporter only after covering her head with a large paper bag:
"Our Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il must produce a big atomic bomb... soon," she muffled, "Our country must develop an atomic bomb, because early last summer a terrible thing happened to our beloved North Korean Peoples Army.
"The entire army was marching in a parade for the Dear Leader, when a young private in the first row tripped over a small stone. The poor boy was immediately run through with a bayonet by the soldier behind him... and then they all started piling up. Within a few moments the entire army got bayonets stuck in their backs!"
The anonymous woman's son was just one of the hundreds of thousands who died that day. It is reported that Kim Jong Il found the whole thing hillarious and was seen to laugh out loud.
The woman reasoned, "Our dear leader now recognizes that we must make a big bomb because there's no more army."