Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 27 November 2013

image for Giant designer suitcase in Moscow's Red Square 'probably stuffed with dead MI6 cryptographers'
PR stunt for Putin Bros, purveyors of western upmarket trash?

Moscow - The sudden, unexpected appearance of the huge 'art installation' has sparked terror among KGB bosses after an anonymous Muscovite wag scrawled RIP Gareth Williams in bold Cyrillic script all over the scarlet Louis Vuitton portmanteau.

Deceased former Brit spook Williams was found naked and trussed up inside a locked North Korea Face holdall in August 2010 in an unsolved case that's still baffling UK intelligence chiefs.

Myriad conspiracy theories have since pointed the finger at the dead cryptographer's possible double-agent status on account of, inter alia, a tendency to wear lurid-colored crotch-hugging cycling shorts typical of KGB standard issue fun-wear since 1857.

Today's Red Square incident was originally billed as a PR stunt for Moscow luxury goods retailer Putin Bros, purveyors of fake western upmarket trash 'since 22 November 1963'.

However a luggage tag from some Kazakh oligarch's floating gin palace soon scotched that rumor and the offending 100ft x 80ft x 20ft suitcase was hauled away to landfill without disturbance of its contents.

Tomorrow the empty plinth in Moscow's Red Square will be occupied once again by a 250ft statue of Stalin's pet cockerel Klinton.

Catch the official unveiling ceremony right here on this website from Noon on Thursday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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